Don't accept the narative that you "lack" a family that did nothing but put you in distress
When we go no contact with family, it is always bittersweet.
The holiday season is often depicted as a time of joy, togetherness, and warmth. However, for many autistic adults who have taken the brave step of going no-contact with abusive family members, this time of year can be fraught with challenges and complex emotions. In a society that emphasizes family gatherings and festive cheer, the decision to distance oneself from toxic relationships requires immense courage.
To those navigating the path of no-contact during the holidays, know that you are not alone. Your journey is valid, and your well-being matters.
So how do we make ourselves feel good about what we know is the best decision for us, when society is tugging at our heartstrings? I have a few suggestions that have worked for me in the past.
Tempted to Sink into Holiday Depression? Do this Instead.
Solo Celebration: Embrace the joy of celebrating alone. Focus on self-care, indulging in favorite activities, and taking time for personal reflection.
Customized Traditions: Establish new traditions that align with personal preferences and comfort levels. This could include engaging in hobbies, watching favorite movies, or exploring new activities.
Catch Up on Sleep: Prioritize self-care by allowing yourself extra rest and sleep to recharge.
Engage in Special Interests: Dedicate time to immerse yourself in activities and hobbies that bring joy and fulfillment, celebrating your unique passions.
Connect The Autistic Burnout Project Forum: Seek support and understanding by engaging with neurokin facing similar struggles.
Oxytocin-Boosting Hot Bath: Need a hug? Enjoy a warm bath to release oxytocin, providing comfort and alleviating feelings of loneliness.
Cultural Appreciation of Neurotype: Build a positive neurodivergent culture by exploring resources like the Autistic Burnout Project and Aucademy, fostering appreciation for your neurotype.
Rest and Relaxation: Get the sleep you need to rest and rejuvenate, don't feel that you "wasted" your time off sleeping. You needed it.
Tackle the Laundry Pile: Accomplish tasks you normally put off, like tackling the laundry pile, to experience the satisfaction of completing a tangible goal and receive a dopamine boost. You aren't "wasting" your vacation doing chores. You are overwhelmed by your regular schedule and ned this time to catch up on chores.
Remember, the holidays are supposed to be a VACATION. Take this opportunity for self-care and embracing activities that resonate with your well-being.
Do not let your abusers live in your head rent-free during your time off.
Holidays can Look However You Want them To!
I extend heartfelt support to those choosing to prioritize their mental health and safety by going no-contact. The decision to distance oneself from toxic family dynamics is deeply personal, and it takes strength to prioritize well-being over societal expectations.
Remember, your worth is not determined by the opinions or actions of others. This holiday season, may you find peace, healing, and the warmth of chosen connections. You are deserving of love, understanding, and a holiday season that aligns with your well-being.
If you are losing the battle to cope with autistic lonliness this year, I encourage you to take advantage of the free 7 day trial of email support I am offering check it out here.
Be kind to yourselves,
Nicole (The Autistic Burnout)
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